The Divorce Dilemma

The Divorce Dilemma

When is divorce acceptable? Unacceptable? To me, divorce has always carried a negative connotation. I am a hopeless romantic who loves fairy tales and happy endings, so to me, divorce sounds like a devastating answer.  As I have matured, I understand that divorce is sometimes, unfortunately, necessary. However, I believe that wherever possible it should be avoided at all costs. 

We live in a world where it is growing more acceptable to divorce, or to simply choose not commit to marriage.  In The National Marriage Project, it is stated that, " If we are to strengthen marriage and families in America, ultimately this will happen because young people want to bond with one another and give their children the gift of their father and mother in a lasting marriage." I feel that it is a child's privilege  and God's will that each child has a mother and a father there to rear them up in love and unity.

Children are often hurt by divorce. Many tend to blame themselves, fall into depression, do more poorly socially and academically.  In a study found from , The Future of Children, it is reported that, "According to the authors, five years after divorce, one-third of the children were adjusting well and had good relationships
with both parents. Another group of children (more than one-third of the sample) were clinically depressed, were doing poorly in school, had difficulty maintaining friend-ships, experienced chronic problems such as sleep disturbances, and continued to hope their parents would reconcile."

I have seen heart breaking divorces within my own family. My husband's parents were divorced when he was only eight years old. He shared with me how this had a huge impact on him as a young boy. 

Is there a way to prevent these things from happening? In some cases divorce is entirely preventable. President Oaks puts it this way, "Now I speak to married people, especially to any who may be considering divorce. I strongly urge you and those who advise you, to face up to the reality that, for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce, but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility, but selfishness. " In the scriptures, Paul also gives advice, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” When a couple follows these principles, they are much more likely to stick together in love and righteousness. It is important to remember that marriage is something to work on every day.

President Oaks states, "The kind of marriage required for exaltation—eternal in duration and godlike in quality—does not contemplate divorce. In the temples of the Lord, couples are married for all eternity. "

I believe this should be the goal for everybody. If you are married, put your spouse before yourself and give it all you've got. If you are single, strive for a marriage that will be eternal. 

I am grateful to have a family centered on the Lord Jesus, Christ. Even though we are far from perfect, He is our glue that holds us together.