Cherishing Your Spouse

I have always enjoyed studying about marriage and how to strengthen it and this week was no different. I loved studying about Dr. Gottman's "Love Maps." A love map is the process of getting to know your beloved spouse in and out. One example that stuck out to me from Dr. Gottman's book was of a husband who was cooking blueberry pancakes for the family but left the blueberries out of his wives because he knew she disliked them. It is important to know one another's likes, dislikes, what makes them angry, excited, etc. As I read I learned the importance of always keeping this love map up to date. For example, my husband enjoys listening to Imagine dragons, Jack Johnson and classical music. However, I know I need to continue to ask him about these things because it may be completely different in five years.

One of the hardest times that Dr. Gottman talks about in his book is when a couple has their first baby. If their love maps with one another are not strong, the couples may not feel that they are getting enough attention, love, etc. However, he gives an example of a couple who had very strong love maps and they were able to maintain a strong friendship during times when the baby's needs must come first. 

I feel like my husband and I are going through this phase right now! We have been married for 14 months and just had a beautiful baby girl. I am so grateful for the time that we took to get to know each other intimately so that we know what the needs are of one another. It really does change your whole world when you have a baby. Everything revolves around our sweet baby. This brings us so much joy and happiness as we make sure and still put one another first. I have found that it makes a huge difference doing small things for my husband when I can find a little time. These things are as simple as keeping the house clean, preparing dinner, writing a love note, being excited when he comes home, listening to his dreams and frustrations, and so on. He does the same for me and rather than the baby pushing us apart, we are able to bond with one another and nurture our relationship through experiences.