Marital Poop

Marital Poop

I would like to write my blog based on the following prompt: "Explain why the "marital poop detector” (Gottman) is so vital to a strong marriage? What is needed to implement this principle in your marriage?"

Ever since I turned 16 and started dating I have always heard, "Linda, you have to lower your expectations. They are way too high. Now, of course at the age of 16 I thought I needed to find a man that was absolutely flawless. Someone who matched the tall, dark and handsome description, (six pack and all) however, I also new I wanted to find myself a husband who would cherish me, treat me with respect and love, someone who had similar goals, and was willing to be my partner through the difficulties of this life. 

Now I am married to a wonderful man. And I got lucky, he is tall, dark and handsome! I still hear the exact same advice. You won't be satisfied until you lower your expectations s, you are most likely trying to  live in a fairy tale. 

I was intrigued that Gottman spoke against this. He reported that the marriages with high expectations and who would not put up with the "marriage poop" that creeps in end up having the strongest relationships.

I think it is important to understand that these expectations do not have anything to do with the way someone brushes his or her teeth, eats an apple or puts the toilet paper roll on. The expectations that I am talking about are ones such as, I deserve respect. I would like us to be more positive than negative. I expect us to be honest with each other, etc. 

As my husband and I respect each other and voice our expectations in a polite, loving manner, we are able to grow in love and create a wonderful environment.

I believe this relates to the Gospel of of Latter-day Saints. has certain expectations for us that will allow us to become better. When we adhere to these things, we are able to find greater satisfaction. The exact same goes for any relationship.